I’ve been home for almost two weeks now, and I’m happy I decided to stay in New York instead of moving to Virginia. The huge factor that made me want to stay was my niece, Leah. This little goober has me wrapped around her finger, and she doesn’t know how much everyone loves her. I see her almost every other day, and she is perfect.
She turned two months old yesterday. Leah can finally smile and laugh and it’s amazing when she does that for you.
Seeing her makes me realize how much I want to have kids one day; maybe I feel like my clock is ticking. I graduated from college, will hopefully have a job at this one place that keeps calling me back for interviews and I am finally ready to settle down with someone.
It feels weird in the adult world, but I still miss the college one.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Purple Hibiscus
For such a young author, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie creates a spectacular first novel, writing with wisdom and creativity beyond her years. Written in 2003, Purple Hibiscus proves to be a page-turner, with the reader always wanting more.
The Nigerian-born author shows readers, Kambili, a 15-year-old girl growing up with her older brother, Jaja, mother and father, Eugene, in chaotic Nigeria. Upon first appearance, the family proves to be perfect: Kambili’s father is an upstanding Catholic citizen, always donating time and money to the less-than-fortunate, while her mother is obedient and lovely. Kambili and Jaja are top-notch students, bringing home near-to-perfect report cards.
However, beneath the perfect exteriors lie troubled, abusive relationships between family members. Eugene is an extremely jealous Catholic, making his family live and breath the Ten Commandments. When wife or children do not follow his, or God’s bidding, he beats and formulates heinous punishments, which often result in hospital visits.
Growing up, Kambili and Jaja are used to their father’s abusive ways, always accepting whippings. Though Kambili desperately wishes to speak her mind, she always silences herself because she is used to being invisible.
But, after spending time with their Father’s sister, they learn to use their voice. Their aunt’s house is loving, intelligent and full of laughter; there is never a dull or sad moment there. Kambili and Jaja grow up here, realizing its OK to laugh and be happy.
Adichie produces a strong protagonist in her debut novel. Kambili has the ability to relate to young adults because she is trying to find her voice — who she is — in the novel.
The author also dips into Nigerian history, where its people have to choose between tradition and modernity. The novel also answers the question that is it OK to have both, not having to pick one of the other.
Purple Hibiscus proves to be an exceptionally imaginative and successful first novel. Adichie beautifully weaves tradition with modernity and duty for family with love and respect for oneself.
Friday, May 22, 2009
New Hamsphire bill fails to pass due to religious fanatics
Recently, New Hampshire Gov. John Lynch's request to pass a same-sex marriage bill was denied by the state's Senate. I was appalled to see this bill not passed because it was one of Lynch's promises to voters.
The reason for not passing the bill was due to religious groups, who felt the issue needed to be further examined before put into law. This is absolutely ridiculous. New Hampshire should have been the sixth state to pass the bill, following in the footsteps of Massachusetts, Maine and Connecticut. But because of religious fanatics, the bill was put on hold.
These people have absolutely no right to deny people of the same sex to live happy lives together. Religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance, so why is same-sex marriage withheld from these teachings? Because the Bible says so.
If we listened to everything the Bible says there would still be slavery and submission of women to men. It should be taken figuratively, not literally.
And, what ever happened to separation of church and state? Why is New Hampshire refusing to pass a bill to appease religious groups? That does not seem democratic or right to me.
We are well into the 21st century right now, so why can't people accept different things like same-sex marriage. It is only two people who wish to spend their lives together; that does not seem weird to me, but romantic and righteous.
The government has absolutely no right to say who Americans can and cannot marry. What’s next? Telling us what to eat for breakfast or what clothes to wear? If something is different, it should be embraced, or at least tolerated, rather than thrown out like last night’s leftovers.
The reason for not passing the bill was due to religious groups, who felt the issue needed to be further examined before put into law. This is absolutely ridiculous. New Hampshire should have been the sixth state to pass the bill, following in the footsteps of Massachusetts, Maine and Connecticut. But because of religious fanatics, the bill was put on hold.
These people have absolutely no right to deny people of the same sex to live happy lives together. Religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance, so why is same-sex marriage withheld from these teachings? Because the Bible says so.
If we listened to everything the Bible says there would still be slavery and submission of women to men. It should be taken figuratively, not literally.
And, what ever happened to separation of church and state? Why is New Hampshire refusing to pass a bill to appease religious groups? That does not seem democratic or right to me.
We are well into the 21st century right now, so why can't people accept different things like same-sex marriage. It is only two people who wish to spend their lives together; that does not seem weird to me, but romantic and righteous.
The government has absolutely no right to say who Americans can and cannot marry. What’s next? Telling us what to eat for breakfast or what clothes to wear? If something is different, it should be embraced, or at least tolerated, rather than thrown out like last night’s leftovers.
Blogging and journalism: worlds apart
Microsoft Word does not recognize the definition of blogging. If the word is typed into a Word document, it is considered misspelled, and alternate spellings are bogging or logging. Blogging becomes more popular every day; however, numerous people rightly do not recognize bloggers as authentic journalists.
Anyone can say he or she is a blogger, but not everyone can say he or she is a journalist. Both groups report facts and write opinions, but there is an immense difference regarding the writing quality between a blogger and a journalist.
Bloggers can be anyone. A priest, a high school student or a single mom with two children. There is no criteria or test to become a blogger. As long as he or she writes on the Web, he or she can earn the title.
They can write about any topic, ranging from entertainment to current political events. True, millions of people do read blogs, but that does not mean the sites are 100 percent truthful and error-free. Bloggers are beginning to call themselves journalists, but bloggers are not journalists. I have read numerous blogs, and a lot of them have continuous ramblings with no point whatsoever.
To be a journalist, there needs to be training and much-needed experience. It takes years of practice and article writing to form cohesive and interesting stories.
Some people are born with a natural talent for writing, but they still need to learn the mechanics of writing. These small details include structure, how to grab the audience's attention and style. You cannot write a sentence and expect it to be flawless.
A journalist goes through training to become a professional. He or she endures endless drafts before producing a quality article, and hours of designing a page that will be aesthetically pleasing. Journalists learn Associated Press style and various computer programs to make graphics and pages.
With an ever-increasing rise in Internet usage, more and more people are looking to the Web for information, as well as blogs. People no longer get news from newspapers' Web sites, but from ordinary citizens. Do these citizens have the full and accurate truth about a topic, or do they merely give an opinion?
The biggest no-no for a journalist is publishing an inaccurate, libelous story; whether bloggers understand this is unclear. Bloggers may write anything they want, without completing any research, while journalists know it is imperative to ask questions and research information for an article before it is published. Journalists understand how important it is to have accurate content and careful research so lawsuits do not occur.
Still, I do not think some people know how hard and challenging the journalism major can be. A lot of people call us "writing majors," saying we only have to write short articles, never taking a calculus or biology class. It is true we do not have to solve page-long math problems or know what chemicals mix well, but it is extremely hard to find a good writer. It is a talent few people have these days, and it takes time and dedication.
My roommates and I had a discussion about who had the hardest major: one is a physical education major with an athletic training concentration, another a double major in biology and environmental science and the last is math and education major. Automatically, most agreed my English and journalism majors were easiest because they simply involved writing, but if you do not know how to write, you are not going to do well.
Sure, some people are decent writers of essays and reports, but journalist writing is completely different. You need to know a little bit about everything and manage to keep writing direct, as well as keep the attention of the audience.
Journalism is an art because you have to know what words work well with others, how to write a creative, attention-grabbing lead (first paragraph) and have the entire article flow smoothly. Journalists create written masterpieces, while bloggers create mediocre finger paintings until they learn the fine art of writing.
If you don't believe me, believe Word since it does not recognize bloggers, as well.
Anyone can say he or she is a blogger, but not everyone can say he or she is a journalist. Both groups report facts and write opinions, but there is an immense difference regarding the writing quality between a blogger and a journalist.
Bloggers can be anyone. A priest, a high school student or a single mom with two children. There is no criteria or test to become a blogger. As long as he or she writes on the Web, he or she can earn the title.
They can write about any topic, ranging from entertainment to current political events. True, millions of people do read blogs, but that does not mean the sites are 100 percent truthful and error-free. Bloggers are beginning to call themselves journalists, but bloggers are not journalists. I have read numerous blogs, and a lot of them have continuous ramblings with no point whatsoever.
To be a journalist, there needs to be training and much-needed experience. It takes years of practice and article writing to form cohesive and interesting stories.
Some people are born with a natural talent for writing, but they still need to learn the mechanics of writing. These small details include structure, how to grab the audience's attention and style. You cannot write a sentence and expect it to be flawless.
A journalist goes through training to become a professional. He or she endures endless drafts before producing a quality article, and hours of designing a page that will be aesthetically pleasing. Journalists learn Associated Press style and various computer programs to make graphics and pages.
With an ever-increasing rise in Internet usage, more and more people are looking to the Web for information, as well as blogs. People no longer get news from newspapers' Web sites, but from ordinary citizens. Do these citizens have the full and accurate truth about a topic, or do they merely give an opinion?
The biggest no-no for a journalist is publishing an inaccurate, libelous story; whether bloggers understand this is unclear. Bloggers may write anything they want, without completing any research, while journalists know it is imperative to ask questions and research information for an article before it is published. Journalists understand how important it is to have accurate content and careful research so lawsuits do not occur.
Still, I do not think some people know how hard and challenging the journalism major can be. A lot of people call us "writing majors," saying we only have to write short articles, never taking a calculus or biology class. It is true we do not have to solve page-long math problems or know what chemicals mix well, but it is extremely hard to find a good writer. It is a talent few people have these days, and it takes time and dedication.
My roommates and I had a discussion about who had the hardest major: one is a physical education major with an athletic training concentration, another a double major in biology and environmental science and the last is math and education major. Automatically, most agreed my English and journalism majors were easiest because they simply involved writing, but if you do not know how to write, you are not going to do well.
Sure, some people are decent writers of essays and reports, but journalist writing is completely different. You need to know a little bit about everything and manage to keep writing direct, as well as keep the attention of the audience.
Journalism is an art because you have to know what words work well with others, how to write a creative, attention-grabbing lead (first paragraph) and have the entire article flow smoothly. Journalists create written masterpieces, while bloggers create mediocre finger paintings until they learn the fine art of writing.
If you don't believe me, believe Word since it does not recognize bloggers, as well.
Confessions of a columnist
When students went to the microphone at the PostSecret event last Wednesday, I was amazed and inspired by their courage to share secrets with complete strangers.
Some of the secrets were lighthearted, but many were heart-wrenching. These people carried their secrets for so long, finally expressing something hidden.
I did not have the nerve to go up to the microphone because I thought it would be weird to share my personal life with complete strangers. The only people who know everything about me are my sisters and best friends.
It takes a lot of guts to share something personal with a stranger, or even a friend. There is that fear of judgment or unwanted advice that slowly creeps its way to the surface.
Sometimes, people do not want advice or judgment; they just want a person to listen and offer only an ear, not a foul mouth or raised eyebrows.
People do not trust others with secrets because they can be judgmental and nosy - what ever happened to someone simply listening? Instead of listening, people want to put their opinions in the mix.
These people will say, "Why did you do something stupid like that?" or "I told you so!" or "This is how you should have handled the situation." People tell secrets to get something off their chest, and the last thing they want is a lecture how to handle a situation or person.
Unfortunately, some think they have the answers to every puzzle, every riddle, so they feel the need to share worldly wisdom with the less fortunate.
Instead of judging, be a person who gives support and lends an ear to listen, and don't give an opinion unless it is asked for by the secret-sharer. When someone tells you something, think how you would want him or her to respond in your situation.
So, in the spirit of those who shared secrets in front of hundreds of Brockport people, I'm going to share a few of mine, and I know a lot of people out there share the same secrets as me.
First of all, I'm turning into my mother. I have tried to deny this fact for years now, but reality has caught up with me. I miss turns all the time in the car, forcing myself to complete a U-turn or three-point turn. And, like my mom, I have to write things down on Post-It notes so I will remember appointments or what I have to do each day.
I have accepted the fact I will be my mother one day, and this does not bother me like it did before. She is one of the most caring and intelligent people I know, although a little unpredictable at times. Most of us admire our mothers, so it is not bad we are turning into them.
Next, I really haven't even seen any friends from high school, and I realized I don't miss them. Each time we see each other, conversation is forced, like we have nothing in common anymore. We all have grown up and apart from one another.
It's weird to think the best friends I had since middle school are merely acquaintances now. Is it because we don't care to keep in touch, or we were only friends during that phase in life? I don't think anyone has the answer to those questions.
This is the deepest secret you will get from me today, and I am 100 percent positive a lot of my fellow students feel this way, too. I'm scared of someday being alone. I do get jealous when I see friends start new relationships, though I do feel happy for them.
Some of my friends say they aren't looking for relationships because they are too busy with school or work, but I think they are afraid of putting themselves out there. We all are, including myself at times.
Still, it is extremely important to take risks and relieve stress because you need to test the waters to see if you can swim. You may tread water for dear life, or just keep swimming. If you are extremely lucky, your listener may be your lifejacket, who keeps you from drowning.
Some of the secrets were lighthearted, but many were heart-wrenching. These people carried their secrets for so long, finally expressing something hidden.
I did not have the nerve to go up to the microphone because I thought it would be weird to share my personal life with complete strangers. The only people who know everything about me are my sisters and best friends.
It takes a lot of guts to share something personal with a stranger, or even a friend. There is that fear of judgment or unwanted advice that slowly creeps its way to the surface.
Sometimes, people do not want advice or judgment; they just want a person to listen and offer only an ear, not a foul mouth or raised eyebrows.
People do not trust others with secrets because they can be judgmental and nosy - what ever happened to someone simply listening? Instead of listening, people want to put their opinions in the mix.
These people will say, "Why did you do something stupid like that?" or "I told you so!" or "This is how you should have handled the situation." People tell secrets to get something off their chest, and the last thing they want is a lecture how to handle a situation or person.
Unfortunately, some think they have the answers to every puzzle, every riddle, so they feel the need to share worldly wisdom with the less fortunate.
Instead of judging, be a person who gives support and lends an ear to listen, and don't give an opinion unless it is asked for by the secret-sharer. When someone tells you something, think how you would want him or her to respond in your situation.
So, in the spirit of those who shared secrets in front of hundreds of Brockport people, I'm going to share a few of mine, and I know a lot of people out there share the same secrets as me.
First of all, I'm turning into my mother. I have tried to deny this fact for years now, but reality has caught up with me. I miss turns all the time in the car, forcing myself to complete a U-turn or three-point turn. And, like my mom, I have to write things down on Post-It notes so I will remember appointments or what I have to do each day.
I have accepted the fact I will be my mother one day, and this does not bother me like it did before. She is one of the most caring and intelligent people I know, although a little unpredictable at times. Most of us admire our mothers, so it is not bad we are turning into them.
Next, I really haven't even seen any friends from high school, and I realized I don't miss them. Each time we see each other, conversation is forced, like we have nothing in common anymore. We all have grown up and apart from one another.
It's weird to think the best friends I had since middle school are merely acquaintances now. Is it because we don't care to keep in touch, or we were only friends during that phase in life? I don't think anyone has the answer to those questions.
This is the deepest secret you will get from me today, and I am 100 percent positive a lot of my fellow students feel this way, too. I'm scared of someday being alone. I do get jealous when I see friends start new relationships, though I do feel happy for them.
Some of my friends say they aren't looking for relationships because they are too busy with school or work, but I think they are afraid of putting themselves out there. We all are, including myself at times.
Still, it is extremely important to take risks and relieve stress because you need to test the waters to see if you can swim. You may tread water for dear life, or just keep swimming. If you are extremely lucky, your listener may be your lifejacket, who keeps you from drowning.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I'm happy being an old foagie
I was reading through Yahoo News today and I came across this advertisement: Dr. Oz will make you look and feel like a teenager again. Honestly, what grown, sane adult would want to be a teenager again?
What feelings were they thinking? Rejection, loneliness, the never-ending battle of puberty.
Personally, those were some terrible years, with puberty, braces and peer pressure. I constantly worried about boys, covering up the latest face blemish and saying no to drugs.
I mean, we were young and invincible as teenagers, but I would rather be a 21-year-old finally able to legally drink alcohol, rather than a 13-year-old who got rejected at the school dance by a boy.
What feelings were they thinking? Rejection, loneliness, the never-ending battle of puberty.
Personally, those were some terrible years, with puberty, braces and peer pressure. I constantly worried about boys, covering up the latest face blemish and saying no to drugs.
I mean, we were young and invincible as teenagers, but I would rather be a 21-year-old finally able to legally drink alcohol, rather than a 13-year-old who got rejected at the school dance by a boy.
Don't let the church's flame go out
Across the United States, the fate of the Roman Catholic Church is rapidly changing. An increasing number of people do not attend mass, and the spirit and enthusiasm that I once found in church as a child is now hard to locate.
Currently, the Roman Catholic Church is having trouble retaining members. Lack of membership is causing churches to close, forcing them to join with other congregations.The linked churches will remain open, but they will not have full-time priests.People from different churches are faced with the challenge of merging styles and personalities, and this is all happening in our backyard.
Churches are also closing because there is a lack of priests, as many are retiring and aging. A priest may not retire until he is in his late 70s to early 80s. However, there are not enough young priests or students in seminary school to replace the retired. If there are no priests available to lead a church, they must close.
The church I attend, St. Augustine's, combined congregations with another church this past summer. There is currently an interim priest and an associate pastor; the churches will receive a full-time pastor later in December.
There will be twice as many duties for the new priest since there are now two parishes: twice as many meetings to attend, more faces and names to remember, additional sermons to write and more stress. It is double the responsibility.
I suppose it is a blessing my church did not close like others, but the priest I grew up with is no longer there, and the soul I love is slowly burning out because less people attend every month. Still, there was a time when my church was alive.
My family transferred to St. Augustine's my sophomore year in high school because of the people and essence it exhumed. My grandparents practiced there, so my family and I would occasionally attend mass with them. Everyone was so friendly and outgoing; if you were a stranger or newcomer to the church, people knew and would introduce themselves after mass. I quickly felt at home there, more than my previous church.
I honestly spent more time at St. Augustine's than at home or school. I was in the choir, so there were rehearsals during the week and singing at weekend masses. I also taught Sunday school for elementary students. This small building with smiling faces became my home-away-from-home in high school, and I was sad to leave it when I came to Brockport in 2005.
When I came back home this summer, I noticed a huge change at St. Augustine's. Because I am always in Brockport and rarely go home, I never noticed the lack of people at mass before. My parents told me some families stopped attending the past three years. When you are away for something for so long, you may not notice any changes or differences.
Many of the people I grew up with and considered family are now gone. I asked one of my friends why she and her family stopped attending mass, and she said her family did not think the linkage of the two parishes would be successful, so they did not bother attending.
Still, there is a solution to every problem, and there are possible solutions to retain parishioners and bring back the spirit. The Roman Catholic Church could allow priests to marry and have children, or better yet, allow women to be priests. Instead of requiring priests to be male, single and celibate, they could open the vocation for both genders who may or may not want families.
However, the Roman Catholic Church is embedded in tradition, therefore it will not allow women to become priests or male priests to marry. I understand it would break tradition to allow this possible solution, but the Church needs to mold into the 21st century and modernize for the sake of the people, who are its heart and soul. If there is no one to attend mass, the success of the Church is fragile, leaving many to straddle on a thin line between heaven and hell.
Though the linkage of churches and membership are challenges, they are something people need to embrace, not fear. There is the opportunity to meet new people and build new relationships with others who are involved in the same struggle. I am still going to attend mass because there are still smiling faces of people I know and love, as well as the anticipation of meeting new people.
Currently, the Roman Catholic Church is having trouble retaining members. Lack of membership is causing churches to close, forcing them to join with other congregations.The linked churches will remain open, but they will not have full-time priests.People from different churches are faced with the challenge of merging styles and personalities, and this is all happening in our backyard.
Churches are also closing because there is a lack of priests, as many are retiring and aging. A priest may not retire until he is in his late 70s to early 80s. However, there are not enough young priests or students in seminary school to replace the retired. If there are no priests available to lead a church, they must close.
The church I attend, St. Augustine's, combined congregations with another church this past summer. There is currently an interim priest and an associate pastor; the churches will receive a full-time pastor later in December.
There will be twice as many duties for the new priest since there are now two parishes: twice as many meetings to attend, more faces and names to remember, additional sermons to write and more stress. It is double the responsibility.
I suppose it is a blessing my church did not close like others, but the priest I grew up with is no longer there, and the soul I love is slowly burning out because less people attend every month. Still, there was a time when my church was alive.
My family transferred to St. Augustine's my sophomore year in high school because of the people and essence it exhumed. My grandparents practiced there, so my family and I would occasionally attend mass with them. Everyone was so friendly and outgoing; if you were a stranger or newcomer to the church, people knew and would introduce themselves after mass. I quickly felt at home there, more than my previous church.
I honestly spent more time at St. Augustine's than at home or school. I was in the choir, so there were rehearsals during the week and singing at weekend masses. I also taught Sunday school for elementary students. This small building with smiling faces became my home-away-from-home in high school, and I was sad to leave it when I came to Brockport in 2005.
When I came back home this summer, I noticed a huge change at St. Augustine's. Because I am always in Brockport and rarely go home, I never noticed the lack of people at mass before. My parents told me some families stopped attending the past three years. When you are away for something for so long, you may not notice any changes or differences.
Many of the people I grew up with and considered family are now gone. I asked one of my friends why she and her family stopped attending mass, and she said her family did not think the linkage of the two parishes would be successful, so they did not bother attending.
Still, there is a solution to every problem, and there are possible solutions to retain parishioners and bring back the spirit. The Roman Catholic Church could allow priests to marry and have children, or better yet, allow women to be priests. Instead of requiring priests to be male, single and celibate, they could open the vocation for both genders who may or may not want families.
However, the Roman Catholic Church is embedded in tradition, therefore it will not allow women to become priests or male priests to marry. I understand it would break tradition to allow this possible solution, but the Church needs to mold into the 21st century and modernize for the sake of the people, who are its heart and soul. If there is no one to attend mass, the success of the Church is fragile, leaving many to straddle on a thin line between heaven and hell.
Though the linkage of churches and membership are challenges, they are something people need to embrace, not fear. There is the opportunity to meet new people and build new relationships with others who are involved in the same struggle. I am still going to attend mass because there are still smiling faces of people I know and love, as well as the anticipation of meeting new people.
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